My Creator, today grant me the wisdom to seek Your wisdom. Help me to Walk of the Red Road.

I was reading sojourner 's recent blogs and I couldn't agree with her more. Life is a rollercoaster and I'm on it too. We all are.

Then I read peacemonger 's blog on death and dying. Hmmm....Non-existence rang a bell, not unlike the Liberty Bell.

Since I declared my intent to marry DragonMage to the universe last year all hell has broken loose in my life- literally. I've been assured by friends such as DrunkenOso and DragonMage that in reality my world is turning right side up and the whitewater rapids (Class 6)  are the best part of the rollercoaster ride. Hmmm. Considering they're in the kayak with me I think they know what they're talking about.

Every major concievable disaster I could have thought of- and I few I never would have imagined, have come right along to sweep me away. But I'm still here. Things that a year ago, five years ago... well you get the idea... things that would have destroyed me in times past have not destroyed me this time. I have not shaken from my resolve -or my dreams. In fact I think the opposite has occured, while the waters, storms and hurricaines have flowed, blown and engulfed me I have remained true to my heart. I am following my heart, straight to DragonMage and to my ultimate dream, the one I've watched evolved for several years now, never imagining that this would be where I was headed. And DragonMage has stood here with me. Sometimes in front of me, shielding me, sometimes behind me pushing me (when I needed it) and sometimes we're side by side. I only hope that I can love him half as much as he loves me....

Yes, it's been painful to watch my life be stripped away; I've lost friends, a way of life, things that I've worked very hard for... but it's been worth it all to be here today... in this moment. I wouldn't trade all the disaster in the world not to be here. It's almost like peacemonger said, death is a type of non-existence. The death of my life here in New york has rather been like a form of non-existence... but I still wouldn't trade this time for all the world. I've learned so much... about who really loves me, about who I was- and more importantly about who I really am....

Time is cyclical, not linear... what you once faced you will face again. Remember that; stand strong when you can and when you can't... go with the flow and see where it takes you this time. When the world sweeps everything away it's a cleansing, you'll be freer now than you've ever been, enjoy travelling light.... I know I will...