humorhttp://www.blackindians.com/new_page_10.htm
Disclaimer* This page is added just for fun. Many people do not understand Native humor. So we have decided to share some of the really good Indian jokes that have passed our way through the years. None of the jokes posted here are to offend but simply to have fun. We highly respect all cultures. The Creator has made us also to enjoy humor of which we share here.
I warned you I was bored....
THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10 ..oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!
Then something is supposed to happen. I think.
Navajo Message To The Moon
Nearby, a Navajo sheep herder and his son were watching the strange creatures walk about, occasionally being tended by personnel. The two Navajo people were noticed and approached by the NASA personnel. Since the man did not know English, his son asked for him what the strange creatures were and the NASA people told them that they are just men that are getting ready to go to the moon. The man became very excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts.
The NASA personnel thought this was a great idea so they rustled up a tape recorder. After the man gave them his message, they asked his son to translate. His son would not. Later, they tried to get a few more people on the reservation to translate and every person they asked would chuckle and then refuse to translate. Finally, with cash in hand, someone translated the message, "Watch out for these guys, they come to take your land."
There's more but that's enough for now.... only 8 pm and I'm bored silly. I've read my book, job hunted, called all my friends who weren't home and now posted this... good thing this only happens about once a month (being bored), -watch tomorrow will be so busy I won't have time to sit down, lol.
OK I have to update this entry, I kept on reading and this stuff was just too good NOT to share~
WAYS THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT IF SANTA WERE INDIAN
At bedtime, kids would leave corn soup and frybread for the big guy.
Santa's new moccasins would be made out of Dasher.
He'd run around saying "ayyy..." and "shhh...ttt" instead of "ho, ho".
A five pound block of cheese and day-old bread would be under every tree.
His elves would never show up for work on Mondays and sometimes Fridays.
The sleigh would need a jump start every other state and would have one donut tire.
He would be able to navigate his sleigh by pointing his lips.
All his elves would be Hopi's from the Second Mesa.
According to Indian time, our gifts would arrive in February.
Top 10 Things To Say To A Non-Indian Upon First Meeting
10. How much white are you?
9. I'm part white myself, you know.
8. I learned all your people's ways in the Boy Scouts (Order of the Bullet).
7. My great-great-grandmother was a full-blooded European princess.
6. Funny, you don't look white.
5. Where's your powdered wig and knickers?
4. Do you live in a covered wagon?
3. What's the meaning behind the square dance?
2. Oh wow, I really love your hair! Can I touch it?
1. What's your feeling about river-boat casinos? Do they really help your people, or are they just a short-term fix?
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
SOVEREIGN INDIAN: This is the Chickens inherent right as he is indigenous to this land!!!
MILITANT INDIAN: That chicken should block the road, not cross the road!!!
GRASSROOT INDIAN: If the darn chickens need to get across the road, let 'em cross the darn road!
COLONIZED INDIAN: Chiggens should never cross the roads that white men built before the great white father crosses it first. If the white father crosses it, it is good. We must then follow.
AMERICANIZED INDIAN: We must have roads. We must cross the roads that the white man built for us. We have to be thankful to the white man for this. I don't know why you Indians are always complaining. You embarrass us. Chickens are good for us.
REPUBLICAN INDIAN: It's true that that white man built those roads for us. We are merely chickens. We will always be chickens until we learn to build those roads ourselves - for profit.
DEMOCRATIC INDIAN: The chicken crossed the road because he didn't have enough funding.
TRADITIONAL INDIAN: Those chiggens weren't traditional because they were supposed to be on it - not crossing it!
INDIAN GRANDPA: I think he was runnin' away from rezidential school.
URBAN INDIAN: That chicken crossed the road 'cause it was a city, man. You know what I mean?
NEW AGE INDIAN: It was basically because of Jungian dream therapy, drumming, sweatlodges, my shaman, and long walks on the beach, near my beach house.
POW WOW INDIAN That chicken must have been heading to a 49!
EDUCATED INDIAN: I think it has to do with Einstein's theory which basically posits: "Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?"
REZ INDIAN: Whats a chicken?
IHS INDIAN: I really don't care why he crossed that road. We still aren't paying for no stinkin hospital bills.
BIA INDIAN: They crossed it because of CFR 49, Section 11299, gives them the authority to do so, under Department of Interior regulations, in the Executive Branch. They wrote a grant and we funded them. We are very proud of them.
KFC INDIAN: I'll take a leg, a thigh, with corn and potatoes. Extra Crispy, please.
TRIBAL INDIAN COUNCIL: The chicken crossed the road before we did? Fire his family!!!
39 UNBECOMING BUDDHIST
You can tell Bambi's going to die soon...
Darwin Awards 2009